Feeling Out of Control
To be clear, I’m not saying that we should just relinquish control, but instead that we should become clear about what we can control and what we can’t.
For example, we can control: our beliefs…our attitude…our thoughts…our perspective…how honest we are…who our friends are…what books we read or media we watch…how often we get exercise…the food we eat…how kind we are to others…how we interpret situations…how kind we are to ourselves…how often we say “I love you”…how often we say “thank you”…how we express our feelings…whether or not we ask for help…how often we practice gratitude…how many times a day we smile…how much effort we put into what’s important…how we spend/invest our money…how much time we spend worrying…whether or not we judge other people…how often we worry about our past or future…how we respond to a setback…how much we appreciate the things we have, and many other things.
So if we can control all of these things, why is it that we often feel so out of control? I believe that it has to do with how the brain processes information. In other words, when our middle brain (the limbic system) interprets a situation as negative, it thinks that we are in danger, and therefore, throws us into the part of the brain (the brainstem) that is designed to deal with danger.
Unfortunately, we can’t deal with life from this lower, reactive brain which results in our feeling out of control. This is why I always begin my seminars and counseling sessions by helping people understand this process, and teaching them how to shift from the reactive brain to the more purposeful, influential brain where we can indeed have more influence in our lives and the lives of others.
If you feel that this would be a worthwhile endeavor for you and/or your organization, I encourage you to contact me. Just go to www.BillCrawfordPhD.com and hit the contact button, and we can begin to help you regain control of your life by accessing the clear, confident, creative part of the brain.
~ All the best, Dr. Bill