How to Avoid Worrying About The Past &/or Future
We have all heard the wisdom that “living in the present” is a good idea. And yet, we have also noticed how easy it is to find ourselves running past decisions or experiences over and over in our mind, and/or worrying about what might happen in the future. The reason for this disconnect between what we know (the value of living in the present) and what we feel (worrying about the past and the future), has to do with how the brain processes information.
For example, the part of the brain that is designed to keep us safe in dangerous situations (the limbic system) has a tendency to look to the past and/or the future for things we should be worried about. Unfortunately, most of the data it comes up with is information that (a) isn’t truly dangerous, and (b) isn’t within our control. This has those of us who consistently worry about the past and/or the future feeling vulnerable and anxious, because we are getting signals that something was, or will be wrong, but we are not in a position to do anything about it. This then triggers a new round of stress chemicals, and we find ourselves trapped in what I call “The Cycle of Stress.”
So, what’s the solution? Do we just ignore any problem from the past, or any potential problem in the future because they are out of our control? No! What I suggest is that we shift from worry to awareness, and begin to become more purposeful in how we perceive our lives.
For those of you who follow my “Life from the Top of the Mind” philosophy, you know that this means ensuring that we are coming from the clear, confident, creative brain (the neocortex) before we make any decision. And further, ensuring that any decision we make (that doesn’t require a fight-or-flight response) comes from awareness versus worry.
To do this, we must start with the only time we can truly influence, which is the present. This requires us to make a purposeful choice about how we are thinking, feeling, and acting now…. and then proceed from there to see if there are things to be learned from the past and/or plans to be made about the future.
Further, we must ensure that whoever we choose to be in this moment (how we want to think, feel, and act) becomes a benchmark for going forward. In other words, if confident, loving, creative and compassionate are how we are choosing to be, then we will want to notice if our limbic system starts to trigger worry, anxiety, anger, or fear. If so, we can simply write this off as the old, reactive brain trying to keep us safe, and redouble our efforts to choose who we are rather than letting this old, fear-based part of the brain dictate our state of mind, and/or state of being.
Of course, many will say that, while it’s true that we can’t change the past, we can do something about the future. Therefore, we shouldn’t focus exclusively on the present but always be looking ahead as well, and, I agree. That’s why I described the best way to live as learning from the past and planning for the future, but only after we have decided the qualities and characteristics we want to bring in to this learning and planning process… or, how we want to be now!
In fact, if we are indeed willing to make defining who we are in this moment our highest purpose (the most important thing in our life) that actually provides a springboard to the next moment, and the next and the next. In other words, given that our future is actually informed by how we are in the present, when we create each moment on purpose, we create a life of purposeful moments, which means the future will pretty much take care of itself. Plus, this more purposeful, present-moment way of being allows us to be flexible when the plans we made need to be changed.
This is what I help individuals and organizations accomplish by combining mindfulness, neuropsychology, and cognitive psychology into a step-by-step system that I call “Life from the Top of the Mind.” If you would like me to help you and/or your organization access your best by understanding and influencing how the brain processes information, I suggest you contact me, because each present moment that you live without this knowledge has the potential to result in a future created more by chance than by choice.
~ All the best, Dr. Bill