Knowing When to Stop!
I know I have a tendency to suggest that we make changes, or make decisions based less on what we are stopping and more on what we are starting, and this is a perspective that I still endorse. That being said, I also think we can be well served by becoming more aware of the signals we are given, both internal and external, so that we can make more purposeful decisions with regards to when to stop.
For example, how often has our body given us signal signals rest would be a good idea (feeling tired, exhausted, overwhelmed, etc.) and yet, rather than listening to that signal, we have pushed on, and in doing so, made a task more important than our well being? How many times have we continued to eat or drink when our body was clearly letting us know that it was time to stop?
How many times have we been talking to someone who clearly was not hearing what we had to say as valuable information? And yet, we pushed on, somehow believing that if we just kept talking, sooner or later they would understand?
If you found yourself answering in the affirmative to any of these questions, I would encourage you to add an additional criteria to your decision-making process, i.e. knowing when to stop.
Of course, given that many of us were told to “stop this” and “stop that” as we were growing up, it’s possible that we are still rebelling against these old prohibitions. It’s as if a little voice is saying: “Oh yeah, well now I don’t have to stop anything, so there!”
However, if you have decided to have your decision-making process driven less by rebellion and more by what you would recommend for someone you love, then I suggest you add this loving awareness of knowing when to stop to your decision-making criteria.
Of course, this can also be a “both/and” perspective of both knowing when to stop and knowing what to start, because when we are stopping talking or convincing, we start listening, when we receive a signal from our body that we have done enough, we stop the “doing” and start resting. When we stop eating or drinking, we start allowing our body to process the food and drink in a way that supports our health and well-being.
The key here is that we are making all of these decisions in a very purposeful manner, or in a manner we would recommend to someone we love, and therefore, love (versus fear of what happens if we don’t stop) is the driving energy.
If this appeals to you, I would encourage you to look for opportunities to practice this new awareness. The question we can continue to keep in mind is: “Would this be a good time to stop _______ and start _______? Would I recommend this to someone I love?” If the answer is “Yes,” then we know what to do.
~ All the best, Dr. Bill