The 3 Essentials to Success & Happiness
I ran across these concepts while reading the book, “Bold,” by Peter Diamandis and Steven Kotler, and thought that they would be worth exploring for those of us who are wanting to become more influential in creating the life we want. While the authors look at them separately, I would like to combine the first two into one powerful concept, and use the third to describe how to bring this concept to life.
For example, autonomy speaks to our ability to create the life we want, regardless of what is going on around us. Or, put another way, when we are dependent on some person or situation around us to change, we will forever be at the mercy of people and things we can’t control. Therefore, I suggest we look at what we can control, and how it will not only lead to more happiness and success, but also deal with all those aspects of life that are beyond our control.
This is where the second concept of purpose comes into play, and when paired with the first, this combination can put us in a position to be very influential in how we experience life. In other words, when we make defining who we are (versus being being defined by the situations we encounter) our highest purpose, or the most important thing in our lives, we combine the aspects of autonomy and purpose in a very powerful way.
Unfortunately, most people tend to describe their experience (and thus create their experience) in terms of how they are made to feel by a person or situation (traffic stresses me out, difficult people make me angry, deadlines really make me anxious, etc.). This will, of course, leave them feeling stressed, angry, and anxious unless they can somehow change the situation. In these scenarios, they have neither autonomy nor a sense of purpose.
Instead, I suggest we first choose the qualities and characteristics we want to bring to life (clear, confident, creative, curious, compassionate, etc.) and then make being this way the most important thing we are doing. In this way we combine autonomy (the ability to define who we are versus being defined by or made to feel a certain way by others) and purpose (making this self-definition our highest purpose, or the most important thing we do) in a way that allows us to bring our best to life, regardless of the situation.
The reason this is so powerful is that when we are dealing with a situation from this clear, confident, and creative perspective, we are automatically accessing our best interpersonal skills and problem-solving skills, and therefore, the potential that we will create an experience that is congruent with the life we want to create is greatly enhanced. In this scenario, we have both autonomy and purpose.
When we bring in the third component of mastery, we complete the model. The important thing to keep in mind here is that mastery isn’t a goal, but a process. In other words, when we are willing to use life to practice our autonomy and purpose, we then becoming skilled at this way of living, and mastery becomes the process by which we continually fine-tune our experience of life.
Are autonomy, purpose, and mastery a part of your daily experience? If not, I encourage you to consider bringing these qualities to life. And, as always, if you want some support in this process, don’t hesitate to contact me.
~ All the best, Dr. Bill