The Flip Side of Acceptance
I have chosen this topic and this quote because in my work as a seminar leader and psychologist, I see so many people going into situations already feeling stressed, anxious, and/or frustrated. Unfortunately, because this means that we are already in the lower 20% of the brain, this pretty much sets the stage for increased stress and decreased effectiveness, especially if the situation is not something we can change or control.
Therefore, I suggest that we back up and begin to influence our lives during the times in which we have the most influence and control. This means waking up and being very purposeful about our experience as we get ready for the day.
• What sort of shower head do we have, is it one that we LOVE to be under, or one that is functional, but not enjoyable?
• What is our breakfast like… do we just grab whatever we can and eat it in the car (or skip breakfast altogether), or do we create and have a taste experience that we both look forward to and enjoy?
• Are we waking up rested? Do we go to bed when we “have to” and get up when we “have to,” or have we decided how many hours we want to get and arranged our schedules accordingly?
• Are we giving ourselves enough time to get ready in a relaxed manner? Do we know what getting ready in a relaxed, enjoyable manner would look like, and have we made this experience a priority?
• What’s our car like, is it clean, giving us a clear window to the world, or are we looking through a film of dirt? And, what about the inside, does it serve our desire to feel good about who we are and the environment that we are in, or does it trigger feelings of regret or even disgust?
• Do we have something that we are looking forward to listening to on our drive to work or school (book on tape, a specific radio station, music, etc.)?
• When we get to work (or wherever we are going) what is the lighting like? Do we just flip on the fluorescent lights, or have we purposefully created an atmosphere that supports our peace of mind?
• Where do we go for lunch? Do we just sit at our desk and eat while trying to continue getting things done, or do we take time to eat in a place where we are looking forward to both the food and the atmosphere?
Got the idea? This is about influencing every aspect of our lives that we can influence, and starting from the beginning of the day so that we can create a series of enjoyable experiences that then put us in the best place to accept what we can’t change.
There will be those situations (traffic, difficult people, the weather, etc.) where acceptance will be critical to our success, and when we can “change what we can” or exert as much influence as possible in the areas we can control, this will serve us well in creating a life that we would recommend to someone we love.
~ All the best, Dr. Bill