The Neuroscience of Responsibility
This video is about the concept of “responsibility,” which most people would say is a good thing. However, have you noticed that few people are comfortable with taking responsibility these days? In other words, it’s rare to hear someone say, “Yes, I am responsible for that,” unless it is something good. I think this is because most people see the concept of responsibility as “who’s to blame if something goes wrong,” and as such, generally want nothing to do with it.
Therefore, I suggest that we change the meaning of the word from “who’s to blame?” to “our ability to respond (response-ability = our ability to respond). My guess is that all of us would like to have the ability to respond to life in a way that is congruent with our highest purpose (or in a way that defines who we are). If so, we must be willing to take 100% responsibility for our ability to respond!
This doesn’t mean that we have to take responsibility for the happiness and success of everyone around us. It just means that we are not waiting for something outside ourselves to change before we have the ability to respond to life in a way that we would recommend to someone we love.
It is just this sort of clarity that I have been speaking to over this five-part series. If you remember, it started with clarity of purpose, which is all about doing things purposefully (versus just reacting habitually), and in a way that is congruent with our highest purpose, or in a way that makes the statement we want to make about who we are, and in a way we would teach to someone we love.
The second step looked at our past, and what I call “our piece of the P.I.E. (Perceptions, Interpretations, and Expectations).” Our past, because it is important to become aware of the habits we have formed as we grew from childhood to where we are today. These habitual thoughts, emotions, and behaviors are actual neural pathways in our brain that will continue how we react unless we create new, more purposeful neural pathways that support our highest purpose. The way to create these more purposeful pathways is to choose to look at the old triggers in our lives (traffic, difficult people, etc.) as opportunities to define who we are. In this way we change our perception of them, and interpret dealing with them in a different way, which leads to the expectation that we will eventually become skilled at this new way of life.
The third step revolves around the wisdom of serenity where we looked at the Serenity Prayer as a formula for success versus a plea for serenity. Once we acknowledge that serenity is the precursor of acceptance, courage, wisdom, and change (versus just an escape from the problem), we can then bring all of these into our lives in a way that supports our highest purpose.
The fourth step is about raising our awareness of the energy we are using to guide our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. This means understanding the difference between coming from awareness versus worry, excitement versus anxiety, and love versus fear, to name a few. The bottom line is that when the solution calls for us to access our best interpersonal skills, problem-solving skills, and creativity, worry, stress, and fear will only get in the way. Choosing the energy we trust (mostly positive versus negative) as the foundation for who we are and what we do goes a long way towards supporting this solution-focused perspective.
As discussed, the fifth step is all about responsibility, which from my perspective is not about who’s to blame when something goes wrong, but about “our ability to respond.”
When you put all of these five steps together, you have a model that spells POWER (Purpose, Our past/P.I.E., Wisdom of serenity, Energy, and Responsibility). And, when you combine this model with the C-Cubed model of Clarity, Confidence, and Creativity, I believe you have a wonderful way of dealing with life. In other words, when we go into each situation clear about our highest purpose… our past and how we want to interpret what we experience… clear about the wisdom or value of serenity as the precursor to acceptance, wisdom, courage, and change… clear about the energy we want to use as a guide and what this would look like if we were taking 100% responsibility for our ability to respond… I believe we would be more confident. And, this clarity and confidence would then allow us to be very creative in how we deal with all aspects of our lives.
If you like these concepts, I encourage you to practice bringing them to all aspects of your life. I believe that this will result in your being more powerful, or more influential in your life and in the lives of others, and, after all, isn’t that what we are here to do?
~ All the best, Dr. Bill