As a speaker and seminar leader, I always start with asking people about what annoys them, and one of their responses is almost always drama. So, if everyone seems to find this issue so problematic, then why is it so common? I'll bet because most of us see drama as something caused by someone else, which puts us in the position of trying to convince the "dramatic person" to change, and, unfortunately, that often just creates more drama. Therefore, when I ran across this quote from Brooke Hampton, I immediately marked it as one to include in our weekly "Quotes and Comments" connection. "Drama doesn't just walk into our life. We either invite it, create it, or keep it alive by associating with it." - Adapted from Brooke Hampton

To be clear, I'm not implying that drama is "our fault." I just like to look at life's issues in a way that gives us some influence in the experience. And, if it is true that we have some role in the problem, this also gives us a way to have some influence in creating a solution.

This solution doesn't require us to tell others to stop bringing you their drama, however, it may require us to begin to deflect it when it arrives. For example, if someone comes to us complaining about someone else, we could say something like: "Yes, I can see how you would see them that way, and, I have also noticed how good they are with their kids." If we do this enough, they will soon get the message that we are no longer going to become the petri dish for their drama and will either go with us to the more positive perspective, or stop coming to us with all that negativity.

If you are reading this, I doubt that you are creating drama, so let's look at the third aspect of Brooke Hampton's quote, the tendency to keep drama alive by associating with it. This could be seen as being sympathetic to others, and when we and they feel better after sharing what is going on in our lives, then this isn't a problem. However, if either we or they feel worse after sharing, then we may be unwittingly keeping the drama alive by giving it a place to come and stay.

The bottom line is to recognize that if we are complaining about others causing drama or giving their complaints a place to live and thrive, we may be participating in the problem in ways that don't serve us. The good news is that we don't have to become "dramatic" in addressing the problem, we can just switch to the positive and watch it diminish before our eyes.

Are you unwittingly feeding the drama in your life in an attempt to be helpful?