What these quotes suggest is that, if there are relationships, work experiences, or even hidden beliefs about ourselves or the world that do not represent who we are at our best, just ignoring them does not minimize their impact on our lives. In fact, ignoring them can often increase their impact because they wind up operating out of our awareness, and, therefore, out of our influence or control.

One reason that these problematic beliefs and situations can continue to effect our experience of life is that they have become ingrained in our psyche. For those of you who follow my “Life from the Top of the Mind” philosophy, you know that this means that they represent neural pathways in the brain that tend to throw us either down to the lower 20% of the brain (the brainstem) or connect us to the upper 80% (the neocortex, what I call the “Top of the Mind”).

That’s why I like the quote from Carl Jung that says, “Until we make the unconscious conscious, it will control our lives.” Which means until we become aware (conscious) of those beliefs, perspectives, interpretations, and expectations that we have adopted since our birth, they will continue to impact our lives but we won’t be able to influence this impact. Or, as Laurie Buchanan says, “Whatever we are not changing, we are choosing.”

Therefore, I suggest that you take a look at the aspects of your life that you feel are incongruent with the best of who you are. Whether they are external situations or internal beliefs or perspectives, if you would not recommend them to someone that you love, I suggest, change them… bring the unconscious to consciousness, and actively decide whether you want to keep them or change them.In other words, tap into the clear, confident, creative part of who you are (the neocortex, or Top of the Mind) and use your wisdom and influence to acknowledge what is incongruent with you at your best, and change these aspects of life to ones that have been chosen on purpose. In doing so, you become someone who is both changing and choosing a way of feeling, thinking, and being that both supports the best of who you are, and a way of life you

Are you holding on to situations or beliefs that you would not recommend to someone you love? Think it’s time for a change?